As a PRPK, (Perpetually Rebelling Pastor’s Kid), I go out of my way NOT to quote scripture or blast praise music from my sedan.

I don’t go to church every Sunday but when I do, I sit in the back row. I don’t stay for coffee or to “pass the peace” with anyone afterwards. I don’t pray out loud in the stands at my kid’s swim meets for her to win her heat or make a state time. (I do pray for Army to have a winning season but we all should do that.)

I do have a healthy prayer life. Lately, I’ve found myself praying when I read the newspaper – on any day, in any city, state or country – because at any given time it seems our world is on fire. Children are abducted from campsites, babies are murdered over archaic rivalries, stores are looted and burned. It’s enough to bring the most hardened agnostic to his knees.

And then there are our inner wars. Depression. Anxiety. Fear and loneliness. These used to be afflictions of the castaways of society – the homeless, the mentally ill. Now it’s so mainstream our children are using these words to describe a Tuesday. Instead of a teddy bear, sleepovers include a weighted anxiety blanket and thunder shirts. Social media is making us feel worse and worse about ourselves – about our clothes, our bodies, our lawns.

What is happening to us?

Dr. Ivy Ge, in her study of the people of Nepal, wrote about how they are believed to be the happiest people in Asia despite great poverty and harsh living. One example, Woeser Choeden, at 90 years old and with no formal education, fled Tibet to Nepal on foot in 1960. Two yaks carried the family food, as well as her two youngest daughters. She said,

“‘Happiness for me is about contentment, not about extremes of happiness or sadness.  I tell my children to embrace the suffering and hardship that comes through hard work. Only then can one truly understand happiness.’”

What do the people of Nepal know that we don’t?

They know this:

“Suffering produces perseverance.

Perseverance produces character;

Character produces hope –

and hope never disappoints us.”

Romans 5:3-5

A few years ago there was a meeting at West Point where a room full of the most senior staff were discussing character development – a cornerstone of the Academy’s desideratum. The story goes that in that meeting, a senior officer said that struggle, strife and conflict are necessary – that making things easier actually makes things harder for the cadet in the long run. His reasoning was that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character, hope.

Someone in the back of the room shouted, “That’s great! Who is that, Nietzsche?”

It was Paul, the Apostle Paul, in a letter to his church back in Rome.

Silence.

You can’t say that! Can’t mix church and state! Can’t offend anyone! I actually agree with the church and state part. However, this verse is the One Bible Passage Everyone Needs to Know.

“we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint.”

Romans 5:3-5

Paul was a Roman scholar of Jewish law and a persecutor of those who didn’t follow it. Then, on the road to Damascus, the Lord appeared to him (Acts 9) and he spent the rest of his life teaching God’s love and peace and grace. He became a prolific writer, authoring over 20% of the New Testament.

Why am I putting so much on this one verse written by this one guy over 2,000 years ago?

Because no matter if you’re in Jerusalem in 60AD, Jerusalem in 2023, whether you’re in a hut in Nepal or a mansion in Malibu, life is full of challenges. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. Are we equipped for it?

We try to shield ourselves and our kids from struggle and strife but by doing so, are we just creating weak people, unprepared to handle the world we live in today?

At swim meets, I see my fellow parents quietly dismiss any disqualified races so their kid doesn’t fall apart before their next event. We tell our kids the family pet went to a farm instead of having them face and process death.

By not allowing our children to fail, to recognize mistakes, to take responsibility, we also prevent them from learning to persevere. We have to give them tools to endure life’s trials and we need to remind each other in the process.

A few years ago, my young daughter and I moved into my father’s former office, sharing the pull out sofa, so I could be with him in his final year of life. It was hard for her to process and she was cast aside a lot that year while I tried to keep it together – keep my mother above water – keep our lives moving – just keep going. I put her in swim lessons to keep her busy. She went one day a week, then two, then four. It became her solace; laps became her escape. Six months later she made the competitive swim team. Now in her third year, through six practices per week, she has become a really good swimmer. One of my biggest regrets in life was how alone she felt that year. Some of my proudest moments are when she drags her tired body to 6am practice or when she ponies up in the extreme Florida heat or on holidays when other kids in other places are still curled up in their beds. Her struggles produce perseverance that will strengthen her character and will continue to fill her with hope. (Brisbane 2032? We can HOPE!)

Struggle produces perseverance or, in other words, endurance. I don’t like weighted squats because I’m so sore the next day. I dread going to the bathroom because, somehow, i’m going to have to stand back up. That soreness is the muscles and connective tissue repairing themselves after I’ve damaged them through exercise. We can’t get stronger without first going through the trauma.

Lesson #1: Growth happens when we embrace the suck.

That endurance, that perseverance, produces character. When we persevere, we gain confidence, strength of heart, strength of mind and strength of will. That strength allows us to breathe deep into our God-given authenticity, power and purpose. Perseverance teaches us what we’re made of. It is the ability to hang in there and keep going forward. It’s not throwing in the towel and quitting when things get tough.

I’ve been in a real fitness funk lately. I’m perpetually tired – physically and emotionally – and I’m just doing everything I can to get all my tasks completed in a day.

There’s dust on the fan blades. The dog needs a bath. Clothes that used to give me subtle hints with uncomfortable indentations are now flat out mocking me.

The ramification of my physical funk is it’s toll on my emotional energy – my joy. I have to get back into a routine, be disciplined every single day. I need to remember that this, too, shall pass.

Lesson #2: Perseverance is necessary to keep going no matter what life throws at us.

Character, honed muscles of strong moral and ethical development that comes from struggle and perseverance, produces HOPE.

Hope never disappoints. Hope is knowing the sun WILL RISE tomorrow, even through the clouds and the dust and the ripped jeans.

Lesson #3: Hope is our connection to an ever-better future.

“You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.”

Michelle Obama

Struggle = Perseverance = Character = Hope. An entire guide to life, compacted into one bite-size verse courtesy of Paul the Italian Jew.

And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Romans 5:2-5 NIV

Memorize it. Write it on the bathroom mirror. Teach it to your children. Put it on a postcard on the kitchen table. Place it by the coffee maker. Because no matter where you are on your journey, no matter what storm you’re in, no matter what – life is richer – more joyful – more possible – with HOPE.

God is not through with us yet.

And Run to Win.

And we are also happy with the troubles we have. Why are we happy with troubles? Because we know that these troubles make us more patient.  And this patience is proof that we are strong. And this proof gives us hope.  And this hope will never disappoint us. 

Romans 5:3-5 Easy to read version