This is from last year but it’s all still true and a reminder to love harder – not just on mother’s day but every day.
I never expected to have kids. No, I don’t want to hold your baby. Please remove your small child from my Prada purse. Smell it? You want me to smell it? Smells like sour milk and crackers. There’s a scene from the movie Overboard where the mother says to Goldie Hawn’s character:
“But darling, if you have a baby, you won’t be the baby anymore.”
Let’s be clear – I’m still very much the baby of the family.
I’m just not kid friendly. Kids are messy. They leak. They require a tremendous amount of sleep but only when you’re wide awake. Truth is I’m slightly afraid of kids. They’re breakable. They’re teachable and thats REALLY scary. Kids have one volume – loud. Their internal clock is set to “sleep”, “awake” and “kill mom”.
And then I had a daughter.
And all my fears were confirmed.
This is where I tell you…
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