At West Point, new cadets are told they only have four possible responses:

Yes Sir, No Sir, No excuse Sir and Sir I do not understand.

When my father retired after 50+ years in ministry, my mother told him he had only ONE ACCEPTABLE response:

Sure, Virjean. Let’s try it.

Today is my mother’s 89th birthday. While thinking about the right gift or card to get her, I realized nothing can compare to what she has given to me – a fun, adventurous spirit that says, “LET’S DO IT!”

That free-to-be attitude didn’t always sit well with the uptight officers wives or the even upper tight church wives. She was way too outspoken, way too opinionated, way too… everything.

To the rest of us, she’s pure happy.

Years ago, my parents walked alongside the family of a Grad they loved while his beautiful wife lost her battle with cancer. Even in their darkest hour, little 5 year old Grace didn’t call her Mrs. Camp or Virjean or Uma. She called her….. “Happy.” “Chaplain Camp and Happy”. Is there anything better than that? Grace graduates this May from the Naval Academy and “Happy” doesn’t begin to describe it.

I decided the best 89th birthday gift I can give my mother is to lean into her free-to-be and say “Sure! Let’s try it!” more often.

Their College friends referred to my mother as a Race Car and my father as…. a Speed Bump. But that Race Car made his life exciting! (And that speed bump kept her out of trouble.) It was my mother who came to the football games, dance recitals, tennis matches. She cheered for us, her cadets, our friends, their kids, their kids’ kids. She drove me to the ski slope in any weather and pulled off my mucky boots after a sweaty day at the stables. She remains a favorite of my grade school, high school and college friends because they remember her laugh, her “sure let’s do it!” attitude and because she was always up to something.

Is it Extroversion or Extraversion? Either way, my mother is “Extra.”

89 years today. Birthdays, Anniversaries, celebrations somehow get harder when you’re outliving your friends, neighbors, your spouse.

Recently, her friend of over 40 years called to say she was at the end of her journey. They spoke on the phone almost every day for months and they laughed! and they cried and they talked about Heaven.

Last week her family gathered for the funeral. Despite having to shuffle work meetings, find a dog sitter and spend way more than my first car on last minute plane tickets, I said “Ok, let’s do it.”

Pause. This is where I had to tell my 12 year old daughter that we were leaving sunny Florida and going on a trip over her spring break. Excitedly, she asked, Where?!? Disney? New York? BROADWAY?????????

Minnesota.

One more time for mass effect……. Minnesota.

Turns out it was one of the best trips we’ve had in years and I am so grateful we did it.

A big lesson I’ve learned while tagging along on family adventures is the importance of generational relationships – making space in our world for the children and grandchildren of friends. That was on full display in Minnesota as my daughter built “new ties of friendship”, adding another layer to our already richly knit world.

I don’t know what lessons my mother wants you to learn from her – she doesn’t have time for that. She’s busy getting into trouble with the neighbors – perhaps plotting the demise of the plant eating rabbits or having some crazy adventure in her golf cart.

So here are a few of my favorite lessons from my mother:

Choose joy. Be Happy! Your attitude is a choice and while not always easy, it definitely makes the journey better for you and everyone around you. Laugh.

Try it! Have the adventure! Don’t be a stick in the mud. Lighten Up! Don’t take everything so seriously.

Trust God – there are bumps in the road.

Life is short. It’s also a lot more fun in the fast lane.

and Run to win.